The past few weeks have been stressful for multiple reasons. By the time today rolled around, I was over it. I was tired and every little thing seemed to be going wrong. Kind of like when a toddler misses a nap and the world implodes.
The dog woke me up early. Too early. I looked outside, saw it was pouring rain and instantly regretted throwing away my half-broken umbrella in dramatic fashion a couple days prior.
After walking the dog and sleeping a little longer, I sauntered into the kitchen, threw a bagel into the oven and promised myself I wouldn’t burn it this time. Not this time!
Unable to stay focused on not burning food for a whole 60 seconds, I started writing an email with such fervor that the only thing that could snap me out of it was the smell of burnt bagel. Blast!
Normally when I burn my food, I just make more. Unfortunately, somebody forgot to buy more bagels. * Undeterred, I opened the fridge and grabbed some yogurt. About three seconds into my first bite, I realized it had gone bad. The good news is that I didn’t hurl.
Forget breakfast, I thought. I needed to go to the mall and would grab something there.
I headed out, unusually optimistic that I would find exactly what I needed, despite my lifelong frustration with shopping.
When I got to my car, I remembered I might have another umbrella under the passenger seat. Score! I reached down, felt something slimy and exclaimed “Eww!!”
About 25 minutes into my drive, I realized this new mall was not where I thought it was. In fact, it was a good 15 minutes in a very different direction. By now, my stomach was hanging on by a thread so I made a beeline for Wendy’s.
When I pulled up to the window, the guy asked me if I would like any condiments. I asked for some honey. He handed me my bag o’ food and said “I gave you honey-mustard, not honey. Have a good day!” Huh? Why?! Not caring enough to protest, I drove away, scarfed down my food, and fantasized about how much better it would have tasted with honey.
Several hours later, having failed at possessing a normally proportioned body once again, I wanted so badly to give up. Alas, I came for a specific outfit and had to forge ahead. I decided to stop at one more store.
By the time I got into the dressing room, I was exhausted. I tried on a couple things and as I was tidying up, a sales person knocked on the door. She asked if anyone was there, to which I responded “Yes, someone’s in here.” She asked again. I answered again. She opened the door and I successfully abstained from speaking my feelings. See below.
When I got home, the dog was being especially whiny. I didn’t hesitate to use my go-to threat. “Bella,” I warned, “do you need to get in your kennel?!” She stared at me from inside her kennel looking as confused as a dog can look. And that’s when I knew I needed a nap.
*It was me.