For those of you not familiar with how the whole blogging thing works, there’s a great feature on the blogging platform I use that allows you to see what search terms people have used to arrive at your blog. This feature has provided me with quite a bit of laughter, as well as confusion.
Most of the search terms used are perfectly normal and reference the name of my blog or a phrase used in one of my posts. However, from time to time, a search term will pop up that causes me to wonder 1) why someone would search for such a thing and/or 2) why someone’s search for such a thing would lead them to my blog.
Below is a list of my favorite search terms used since I started the blog. In this post, “favorite” is not necessarily a good thing; it can mean funniest, strangest or scariest.
For the record, these terms are verbatim. I have to protect my spelling reputation here.
“sumoworstelen kind”- I assume you mean “sumo wrestling kind?” I still don’t know what that means.
“pogo stick disasters”- Umm…ouch.
“double chin blowing in the wind”- Is this actually possible?
“sumo sex”- Is this actually possible?
“all the time in footed pajamas”- No, not all the time.
“blonde sumo”- I didn’t know this existed.
“fat black sumo wrestler”- The word “fat” seems a bit redundant when talking about sumo wrestlers. Am I wrong?
“forced headshaving”- Well, that’s no fun.
“when i was 10 my babysitter and her girlfriend put diapers plastic pants on me before bed”- I’m sure they had good reason.
“forged chin baby”- I have a name.
“helmet woman”- I’ll take that as a compliment.
“old people can’t understand facebook”- I never said that.
“putting creatine in wife’s food to fatten her”- This is almost worse than putting arsenic in your wife’s food. The movie Mean Girls comes to mind.
“nanny pot”- I assume you mean “neti pot?”
“why is dr orden so orange looking”- That’s what I’d like to know.
“sumo fancy dress”- Must be quite a dress. Wait, are there female sumo wrestlers?
“carly todos los fakes”- Muy divertido.
“gurl friend hidden nude by boy friend”- Should I call the police or something?
“familial nudism infantile”- ???
“перелом носа”- I translated this. It means “broken nose” in Russian. Hello Russians!
“who is that annoying ridiculousness girl”- Should I take this personally? I’m really hoping this is referring to that MTV show called “Ridiculousness.”
“best time for normal single man to shop at walmart store #0975″- Never.
To those who used these search terms- thanks for the entertainment. To those who didn’t know your search terms are viewable- you may want to search with caution from now on.