One of the most rewarding parts of the whole blogging thing is receiving positive feedback, both from real people and internet people. I’ve never been one to turn down a compliment (unless of course it’s in shout form and comes with an offensive whistle). So, as you might guess, I’m happy to accept all forms of blog related compliments. Even computer generated ones.
There’s a nifty feature on the blogging platform I use that sorts out spam comments for you. I hadn’t perused the filtered out comments until recently. This is my greatest blogging regret to date. Why? Because some of the comments are priceless. Unfortunately, I can’t go back and see the old ones that have been deleted by the system. Apparently there have been 984 spam comments caught since I started the blog. That’s blog material down the drain, you guys! Bummer. Also, sorry to anyone who may have left a legitimate comment that got swept into the spam category. It wasn’t my fault. Honest.
Those are not my hands.
Like I do with the search terms, I’ve selected my favorite comments to share with you. I’ve added commentary and also specified which post each comment relates to.
On The Kenny Prank: “Thank you for making the honest attempt to explain this. I feel very strong about it and want to be told more. If it’s OK, as you attain more extensive knowledge, could you thoughts adding extra posts very similar to this one with more information? It would be extremely helpful and useful for me and my colleagues.” If it’s OK, could you thoughts proofreading your spam comments before mass-posting them?
On My Date with Prince Charming: “Holy conscie data batman. Lol!” How funny! That’s exactly what I said!
On the About page: “Me and this artlice, sitting in a tree, L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G!” First of all, this isn’t an article (or an artlice). Second of all, that is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Everyone knows you can only do that with a word that has 7 letters.
On Is Magnum, P.I. my Father? An Investigation by Carly, P.I.: “Thanks for writing such an easy-to-udenrstnad article on this topic.” You’re welcome. At first I was going to make it all scientificy and stuff, but then changed my mind at the last minute. After all, nobody wants to read yet another article about Tom Selleck that’s over their head. By the way, is “udenrstnad” a city in the Middle East?
On Conversations with a 500 Year-old: Part 1: “On a regular basis check your pc’s total technique. I enjoy to run reads right away since they decrease your personal computer and could acquire some time. Only if section of your personal computer program seems to be infected, you can check your imagine part merely. If you’re employing a free plan, make sure that that eliminates the malware it has determined. Some no cost applications may recognize the threats but need find the put in purchase for this to take out chlamydia. I believe these programs should be erased as well as replaced by applications which may have entire functionality.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! I knew computers could get viruses, but…chlamydia?? What is this world coming to?? I’ll give my computer a stern talking to tonight about its unsafe practices. Please tell me how to purchase the anti-biotic software to cure this horrible disease.
On the About page: “I’m impressed by your writing. Are you a professional or just very knolwegdealbe?” Oh, you are too kind! While I’d like to say I’m a professional writer, I am not. Also, while I’d like to say I’m knolwegdealbe, I can’t even pronounce it.
On Is Magnum, P.I. my Father? An Investigation by Carly, P.I.: “Your anwesr shows real intelligence.” Thank you. I’ve always claimed to be intelligent, but have never really believed it until just now. This proves that the best way to demonstrate ones intelligence is to write about how their father once looked like a celebrity. I knew I should have put that in my Harvard application.
On the About page: “I am a cistosnent reader of your blog! I like to read about the LO’s and momma’s I know. I think it is fun to hear what others are up to and see pics. Haha okay I probably sound like a stalker but I swear I am not!” What’s a “LO?” Do you mean “momma” literally? I’m not a momma (not to a human anyway). And I don’t know you. There aren’t any pics on this page. Yes, you sound like a stalker and I am terrified. Seriously though, what’s a “LO?”
On My Date with Prince Charming: “This is teelatsss, but brilliant!” How dare you! And thank you…
On The Kenny Prank: “I was more than happy to seek out this web-site. I wished to thanks to your time for this excellent learn!! I undoubtedly enjoying each little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.” You are so welcome for the excellent learn. I try my best to learn people, especially when it comes to pranking. I’ll continue to weblog post as long as you continue to undoubtedly spam me.
That picture is hysterical! Some days when my blog is like a ghost town, I go and read all my spam comments because it makes me feel better, like someone cares.
Oh that’s so smart. I bet the spammers would care even more if you clicked on their links and handed them your bank account number.
These were great! I think you and I share some readers/spammers.
Love the picture of you as Spam.
Thanks, I think most of these spammers must be friends. Or at least the same (very flawed) spamming program is used by a lot of people.
Hahaha….I’ve only gotten like 3 spam comments and none of them were this hilarious…maybe I should go check my spam folder now!
Do it! It’s always good for a decent laugh.
These are awesome!! Gotta love the spammer grammar…
I hope these spammers know how much joy they bring us bloggers. I have a feeling they don’t hear that very often.
Hahahaha the Chlamydia comment was priceless. Then again, if computers didn’t engage in unsafe practices how would viruses and malwares spread? It makes sense that way, lol
Exactly! I want to know how they come up with these comments, and why nobody proofs them. I mean, all they have to do is put together a few good fake comments and then post them to every blog. These spammers just don’t have the work ethic they should
I enjoy taking a peek at my spam messages. They’re always good for a laugh–as you so effectively proved!
It’s the one thing spammers are good for
Awesome. I love spam comments too. Another fun thing to do is look up the search terms people used to find your blog.
Oh yeah, the search terms are even better. I do posts on those as well. It’s kind of nice when WordPress essentially writes my blog posts for me.
“I’ve never been one to turn down a compliment (unless of course it’s in shout form and comes with an offensive whistle)” …. O_o…. you do realise what’s coming next right…
OMG YOU’RE BLOG IS HAWT! SHAKE THAT KEYBOARD! *offensive wolf whistle*
Sits back and waits for comment to be rejected
Haha! I did not reject your comment (obviously), but I cannot condone your actions. My keyboard deserves more.
Hilarious post! I always crack up at my spam, too. I like to hover my mouse over the spammer’s website to see what they are up to. They are all so random!
Thanks! I still can’t figure out what exactly spammers are trying to do. I assume most of them are either trying to sell unsavory products or put a virus on your computer. Either way, they should invest in programming to fix the errors if they really want to steal my money!
Ha! This is hilarious!! I haven’t gotten any “fun” spam. However, after reading this, I checked mine to see if there was anything there – and there was! It let me now that there is a Beta testing this weekend for Diablo 3. Awesome. (Being a gamer nerd I already knew this.)
Love the picture of you in the Spam can.
Thanks!
I bet you’ll check your spam queue regularly now, it’s too good to ignore
Me is like your spam article. It was very informative and I learned so very much from it! Seriously, tho, I freaking love getting WordPress spam. Right now I have none in my queue and I’m kind of counting the days until it fills up again. It always gives me a hearty laugh
I keep checking mine, too! I don’t think these spammers realize how much we depend on them for laughter. And viruses…
I thought I was the only one who read it and laughed!
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lol tears are rolling down my face as I read this (tears of laughter). I get alot of this spam comments but wow you really know how to turn them into something really funny. loved this post.
Sherline
Yay! Making someone cry from laughing is the greatest victory I can achieve (at least in the blogging sense).
I couldn’t do it without the spammers…they’re my inspiration
I love finding new blogs to read. I found you through ‘the Middlest Sister’.
I enjoy your very quirky humour.
Thank you
Isn’t her blog the greatest? I’m amazed every time I read it.