I think we can all agree on one thing: the brain is important, nay, vital to the functioning of the human body.  So, riddle me this…why aren’t we doing more to safeguard our precious noggins?

The American people have long believed that helmets are the best method to protect against brain injury while bicycling.  But friends, since when is riding a bike more dangerous than so many other activities we engage in on a regular basis?  I argue that it’s not.

A few months ago, an ominous storm was rolling in and everyone in the city was preparing for the worst.  The power had gone out at my house and I received several text messages warning me that there were tornadoes spotted in my area (I’ll go ahead and add “weather radio” to my shopping list right now).  I took my flashlight, bottle of water and Wheat Thins and hunkered down in my bedroom closet.  The tornado sirens were blaring.  I was afraid, but I knew I would be okay, for I was wearing my helmet.*

And you know what?  I was right.  I attribute this primarily to the fact that a tornado did not hit my house, but also because I had taken the proper precautions by protecting my head.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since and have compiled a rather extensive list of occasions in which the use of a helmet may prevent injury.  Many of these are based on personal experiences.  While reading, please try to think of how a helmet could have helped you during situations similar to those mentioned below:

• Natural disasters:
  • Earthquakes
  • Hurricanes
  • Tornadoes
  • Dust storms
• Shopping:
  • $1 flip-flop day at Old Navy
  • Fighting the crowds during the holidays
  • Walmart
• Outdoors:
  • Sledding
  • Being attacked by a wild animal
  • Falling off the side of a mountain
  • Snow machining

• Driving a:
  • Car
  • Boat
  • Train
  • Tractor
• Fun:
  • Roller-coasters
  • Bowling
  • Games:
    • Twister
    • Darts
    • Red Rover
• Housework:
  • Changing light bulbs
  • Roof repair
  • Painting
  • Climbing on a ladder or counter
    

    Decorating can be dangerous! Wear your helmet!

• Sports:
  • Baseball
  • Skiing
    • Regular
    • Water
  • Gymnastics
  • Basketball
  • Golf
    • Regular
    • Mini
  • Tetherball
• Flying in a:
  • Plane
  • Helicopter
  • Rocket ship
• Exercising:
  • Treadmill
  • Elliptical
  • Kick-boxing class
  • Stationary bike
• Fights:
  • Food
  • Bar
  • Gun
  • Cat
• Jumping:
  • On  a pogo-stick
  • On a trampoline
  • Rope
  • For joy
• Miscellaneous:
  • Showering
  • Sitting back in your chair at school
  • Wearing high-heels
  • Standing anywhere near others who are playing sports
  • Sleeping

I hate to think that so many innocent people may endure unnecessary trauma simply because they haven’t taken the proper precautions. Therefore, I officially propose that all human beings wear a helmet 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I realize that this will not be a popular sentiment.  But you know what I learned from Albert Einstein and a poster on the wall in junior high?  “What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.”  Think about that.

Every once in a while, I’ll invite my parents’ dog, Coco, to stay at my house for a few days (in lieu of owning my very own dog).  She came for a visit last weekend and had a bit of an accident. She slammed her head into the corner of my glass coffee-table.  I quickly decided the need for helmets is not limited to human-kind.  Here are the types of accidents in which a helmet may benefit your furry friend:

• Getting hit by a car (I know this is sad, but it’s a very real part of life)
• Falling off the couch while trying to get comfortable
• Running into the wall or household objects while:
  • Playing
  • Being blind
• Actual cat fight

While I believe the use of the helmet is a no-brainer (pun intended), I also understand that you may have some superficial concerns.  You needn’t worry though.  I’ve found that most circumstances can be improved by incorporating a bit of creativity, and this situation is no exception.  You may be concerned that while wearing your helmet, your gorgeous hair will be hidden, unable to blow in the wind.  I’ve taken the liberty of doing a little research and have developed a method that will protect your head while also helping to retain your beauty.  See examples below:

The Everyday Look

can be worn at the office, out to dinner, shopping

So Stylish!

The Relaxed Look

can be worn watching TV, reading, knitting

“I didn’t even notice there was a helmet under her ‘do!”

Instructions for obtaining a beautiful helmet head:  buy a helmet with holes in the top, pull your hair through the holes, style as usual.  Would you look at that?  Your helmet is almost completely concealed beneath your beautiful hair-do! You’re safe, yet stunning!

Now, even if you don’t believe that you look beautiful in your new helmet, I know you’ll decide that enduring a little humiliation is worth it in the end.  Friends, danger is all around us.  You can’t be careful enough.  Please, purchase a helmet and wear it often.  And most importantly, have fun discovering ways to wear your helmet!

*I got the idea from a co-worker who said that he regularly found his girlfriend wearing her helmet during tornado warnings.  I found it to be hilarious at first, but then realized it was actually brilliant.