Search and You Will Find…My Blog (Part 2)

¡Hola mis amigos!  Oh wait, I should probably switch back to English.  In case you’re [most likely not] wondering, the blog has taken a back seat recently because a) I’ve been using every last drop of free time to paint my bedroom and bathroom and b) I’ve just returned from a far away land where I got to lay on the beach and brush up on the ol’ Español.  Now that I’m sitting comfortably in my painted room, I can finally get back to blogging.

So…it’s search term time!  I’ve gone through and picked out some more of my favorite search terms that have led people to my site.  I’ve copied and pasted these terms verbatim, typos and all.

“my prince charming is a pot smoker”-  Oh, how delightful.  I’m sure Cinderella would be jealous.

“marie osmond starting to look like tammy faye baker”- ouch!

“eww your a cheap girl on facebook”- Eww, you can’t spell.

“loaded diaper plastic pants”- That is disgusting.

“why cant he say anything nice just says hes cool with that”- I think this is where I’m supposed to say he’s just not that into you.

“!carly.com”- Some tween hoped to find the site for the TV show “iCarly” and got this instead.  Poor, poor girl.

“lasagna humour”- I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Garfield probably cornered that market awhile back.

“society of wal-mart haters”- Where do I sign up?

“compression stockings mom helped me wear them”- Ah, yes…mother/daughter bonding at its best.

“strange yet beautiful facebook quotes“- I’ll certainly agree with the “strange” part.

“i can’t can’t sleep i scare myself“- This could have been a great ‘80’s song.

“are the maury dna results fake”- I’m sure a lot of men would be really happy if that were the case.

Since I’ve been hoarding search terms for about 6 months, I’ll have more to share soon.  If you want to read the first round of search terms, click on this pretty, fancy link.

Search and You Will Find…My Blog

For those of you not familiar with how the whole blogging thing works, there’s a great feature on the blogging platform I use that allows you to see what search terms people have used to arrive at your blog.  This feature has provided me with quite a bit of laughter, as well as confusion.

Most of the search terms used are perfectly normal and reference the name of my blog or a phrase used in one of my posts.  However, from time to time, a search term will pop up that causes me to wonder 1) why someone would search for such a thing and/or 2) why someone’s search for such a thing would lead them to my blog.

Below is a list of my favorite search terms used since I started the blog.  In this post, “favorite” is not necessarily a good thing; it can mean funniest, strangest or scariest. 

For the record, these terms are verbatim.  I have to protect my spelling reputation here.

sumoworstelen kind”-  I assume you mean “sumo wrestling kind?”  I still don’t know what that means.     

“pogo stick disasters”- Umm…ouch.

“double chin blowing in the wind”-   Is this actually possible?

“sumo sex”-   Is this actually possible?

“all the time in footed pajamas”-   No, not all the time.

“blonde sumo”-  I didn’t know this existed.

“fat black sumo wrestler”-  The word “fat” seems a bit redundant when talking about sumo wrestlers.  Am I wrong?

“forced headshaving”-  Well, that’s no fun.

“when i was 10 my babysitter and her girlfriend put diapers plastic pants on me before bed”-  I’m sure they had good reason.

“forged chin baby”-   I have a name.

“helmet woman”-  I’ll take that as a compliment.

“old people can’t understand facebook”-   I never said that.

“putting creatine in wife’s food to fatten her”-   This is almost worse than putting arsenic in your wife’s food.  The movie Mean Girls comes to mind. 

“nanny pot”-  I assume you mean “neti pot?”

“why is dr orden so orange looking”-  That’s what I’d like to know.

“sumo fancy dress”-  Must be quite a dress.  Wait, are there female sumo wrestlers?

“carly todos los fakes”-  Muy divertido.

“gurl friend hidden nude by boy friend”-  Should I call the police or something?

“familial nudism infantile”-  ???

“перелом носа”-  I translated this.  It means “broken nose” in Russian.  Hello Russians!

“who is that annoying ridiculousness girl”-  Should I take this personally?  I’m really hoping this is referring to that MTV show called “Ridiculousness.”

“best time for normal single man to shop at walmart store #0975″-  Never.

To those who used these search terms- thanks for the entertainment.  To those who didn’t know your search terms are viewable- you may want to search with caution from now on.