Category Archives: My Favorite Spam Comments

More Spam!

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It’s spam time, friends!

Ironically, I've never tried Spam (and I never will).

Ironically, I’ve never tried Spam (and I never will).

That’s right, I have more spam comments to share with you!  In case you don’t have a blog of your own, spam comments are the icing on the blogging cake.  I look forward to them almost as much as I look forward to actual icing on actual cake (but not that gross grocery store kind of icing; that’s disgusting).  I’ve copied the comments and added commentary.  By the way, I assume some of the comments were written by computers. Therefore, I hereby believe computers are hilarious.  Enjoy!

*****

“I will have the capacity to bookmark your blog and feature my children check up here generally.  I am somewhat certain they are going to be informed numerous new stuff right here than anyone else!”  Please tell me you don’t homeschool your children.

*****

“Yes I would suggest using a curler set on straight hair. I think utilizing a weave is also the option because curls would also be willing to stay longer in your hair without reapplying the process as often. If not wanting a weave, certainly you could purchase a wig. Make sure you give your hair a break between wearing a weave because I hear too often use can result to some hair loss. Our natural hair needs to breathe in between use.”  Once again, I don’t have a weave, nor do I want one.

*****

If your articles are always this helpful, “I’ll be back.”  Okay, Arnold.

*****

“An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was performing just a little analysis on this. And he in reality bought me breakfast given that I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading a lot more on this subject. If doable, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your weblog with additional details? It is actually highly valuable for me. Large thumb up for this blog post!”  I’m always glad to contribute to someone getting a free meal or treat…smile.  Large thumb up for your comment!

*****

“You might ask, “How do I know it is an ugly sweater?” Some people in your life will usually be kind enough to share that information with you. You could be walking out your house thinking you look pretty cute when a roommate or family member will ask you what you are wearing. This is a bad sign. Sit them down and get the truth out of them. Just because they don’t like it does not mean it is ugly. But if you are walking down the street and people are turning their head away from you in disgust, my friend, you have an ugly sweater!”  Um, if I walked down the street and people turned their heads away in disgust, I would cry.  And then I would put a paper bag over my head and run away.  Hopefully I’d remember to poke eye holes in the bag.

*****

“Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything in this way before. So good to locate somebody by original thoughts on this topic. realy thanks for beginning this up. this fabulous internet site is 1 thing that is necessary on the internet, a person with a bit of originality. beneficial project for bringing a new challenge towards internet!”  You’re welcome for beginning this up.  I really enjoy bringing challenges towards internet.  Sometimes hackers just aren’t cut out for the job.

 *****

“just want to say I am just new to blogging and site-building and absolutely savored your web page. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your site . You surely have superb stories. Many thanks for sharing with us your web-site.”  Savored?  Really?  Let’s take the pretentiousness down a notch.

*****

“Oh my goodness! an astounding article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I am experiencing concern with ur rss . Do not know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone obtaining identical rss dilemma? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx”  Dude, I still have no idea what RSS means.

*****

“I’m impressed, I need to say. Seriously rarely do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you might have hit the nail on the head. Your notion is outstanding; the issue is some thing that not enough consumers are speaking intelligently about. I’m fairly pleased that I stumbled across this in my search for some thing relating to this.”  I’m glad I just looked up the word ‘educative’ and realized it’s a real word, because I was about to make fun of that.  Close call.

*****

“You could definitely see your enthusiasm within the work you write. The sector hopes for more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. All the time go after your heart.”  “All the time go after your heart”- is that an Amy Grant song? 

*****

“My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for.  Does one offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs?  I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome blog!”  I only included this one because it made me feel good about myself.  I love spam.

*****

“Bummer. You can only vote once. Carly I LOVE all the items!!! YOU truly deserve to win, I chekced out the other projects and they’re yawn I LOVE the double-fringe necklace and the feather cape AND I LOVE how you’ve styled the shoot/pics for each item. Brilliant hon, well done, keeping fingers, toes, tees, hell, even roads crossed you win!!!! xoxops. how are you now? pps. I may not comment but I’m always here checking out your brilliance.”  First of all, I didn’t enter a contest.  Second of all, if I did enter a contest, I can guarantee you I wouldn’t be doing anything with a feather cape.  Ever.

I’m sorry I couldn’t also share the spam messages I’ve recently received through personal email. Among others, there have been emails from Natalie Portman, Jennifer Aniston and the Easter Bunny.  Wow!  Unfortunately, clicking on any of those emails would be computer suicide.  I’m just dying to know what the Easter Bunny had to say though.  What a funny little guy.

A Spam Compliment is Just as Good as a Real Compliment, Right?

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28

One of the most rewarding parts of the whole blogging thing is receiving positive feedback, both from real people and internet people.  I’ve never been one to turn down a compliment (unless of course it’s in shout form and comes with an offensive whistle).  So, as you might guess, I’m happy to accept all forms of blog related compliments.  Even computer generated ones.

There’s a nifty feature on the blogging platform I use that sorts out spam comments for you.  I hadn’t perused the filtered out comments until recently.  This is my greatest blogging regret to date.  Why?  Because some of the comments are priceless.  Unfortunately, I can’t go back and see the old ones that have been deleted by the system.  Apparently there have been 984 spam comments caught since I started the blog.  That’s blog material down the drain, you guys!  Bummer.  Also, sorry to anyone who may have left a legitimate comment that got swept into the spam category.  It wasn’t my fault.  Honest.

Those are not my hands.

Like I do with the search terms, I’ve selected my favorite comments to share with you.  I’ve added commentary and also specified which post each comment relates to.

On The Kenny Prank:  “Thank you for making the honest attempt to explain this. I feel very strong about it and want to be told more. If it’s OK, as you attain more extensive knowledge, could you thoughts adding extra posts very similar to this one with more information? It would be extremely helpful and useful for me and my colleagues.”  If it’s OK, could you thoughts proofreading your spam comments before mass-posting them? 

On My Date with Prince Charming:  “Holy conscie data batman. Lol!”  How funny!  That’s exactly what I said!    

On the About page:  “Me and this artlice, sitting in a tree, L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G!”  First of all, this isn’t an article (or an artlice).  Second of all, that is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.  Everyone knows you can only do that with a word that has 7 letters.

On Is Magnum, P.I. my Father?  An Investigation by Carly, P.I.:   “Thanks for writing such an easy-to-udenrstnad article on this topic.”  You’re welcome.  At first I was going to make it all scientificy and stuff, but then changed my mind at the last minute.  After all, nobody wants to read yet another article about Tom Selleck that’s over their head.  By the way, is “udenrstnad” a city in the Middle East? 

On Conversations with a 500 Year-old: Part 1:  “On a regular basis check your pc’s total technique. I enjoy to run reads right away since they decrease your personal computer and could acquire some time. Only if section of your personal computer program seems to be infected, you can check your imagine part merely. If you’re employing a free plan, make sure that that eliminates the malware it has determined. Some no cost applications may recognize the threats but need find the put in purchase for this to take out chlamydia. I believe these programs should be erased as well as replaced by applications which may have entire functionality.”  Whoa, whoa, whoa!  I knew computers could get viruses, but…chlamydia??  What is this world coming to??  I’ll give my computer a stern talking to tonight about its unsafe practices.  Please tell me how to purchase the anti-biotic software to cure this horrible disease.

On the About page:  “I’m impressed by your writing. Are you a professional or just very knolwegdealbe?”  Oh, you are too kind!  While I’d like to say I’m a professional writer, I am not.  Also, while I’d like to say I’m knolwegdealbe, I can’t even pronounce it. 

On Is Magnum, P.I. my Father?  An Investigation by Carly, P.I.:  “Your anwesr shows real intelligence.”  Thank you.  I’ve always claimed to be intelligent, but have never really believed it until just now.  This proves that the best way to demonstrate ones intelligence is to write about how their father once looked like a celebrity.  I knew I should have put that in my Harvard application.

On the About page:  “I am a cistosnent reader of your blog! I like to read about the LO’s and momma’s I know. I think it is fun to hear what others are up to and see pics. Haha okay I probably sound like a stalker but I swear I am not!”  What’s a “LO?”  Do you mean “momma” literally?  I’m not a momma (not to a human anyway).  And I don’t know you.  There aren’t any pics on this page.  Yes, you sound like a stalker and I am terrified.  Seriously though, what’s a “LO?”

On My Date with Prince Charming: “This is teelatsss, but brilliant!”  How dare you!  And thank you…

On The Kenny Prank:  “I was more than happy to seek out this web-site. I wished to thanks to your time for this excellent learn!! I undoubtedly enjoying each little bit of it and I’ve you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.”  You are so welcome for the excellent learn.  I try my best to learn people, especially when it comes to pranking.  I’ll continue to weblog post as long as you continue to undoubtedly spam me.