Things were anything but calm around my house today. My roommate Allison came home to find the aftermath of my dog’s food-related rampage. She went hog wild. Or should I say…dog wild. First, she managed to reach a to-go container full of food that was sitting on the counter. Then, she figured out how to open the container despite her lack of opposable thumbs. Baffling, I know.
But that’s not all. Last night, Allison had set a ramekin of green beans on the table for me. Yes, she was making me eat my vegetables. What a drag, right?! Well, somehow I missed that memo, but my dog did not. In her effort to scarf them down, she knocked my beloved ramekin to the ground, leaving shards of glass all over the floor. But don’t worry, she was able to pick out every last bit of food without scratching her nimble little paws.
When I came home, there was no question of her guilt. Before I even gave her the “you’re in trouble” voice, she cowered in fear. I felt just like a dad whose kids were waiting for their punishment that mom was too weak to hand out. After I told her to come, she scooted over to me at a rate of approximately .35 MPH with her head lowered and eyes squinted. Allison and I tried to hide our laughter, but it was just too funny. After her long journey, I calmly told her she had been bad and grounded her for a week. That’ll teach her.
Thank goodness she wasn’t able to reach a bowl of frosting that was sitting next to the to-go container. I have no doubt she tried.
I should’ve seen this coming. On two separate, recent occasions, I’ve come home to find unscathed Twizzlers strewn about my bedroom floor.* Actually eating the food was clearly the next step.
Author’s Note: I don’t normally keep refrigeration-necessary food sitting out all willy-nilly. I had taken a few things out of the fridge this morning to reach more important food and forgot to put them back before I left the house. As for the green beans, I’ve theorized that my subconscious tricked me into leaving them out so that the dog would eat them and I wouldn’t have to. Brilliant, right?! Kids? Hello?! Are you kidding me? There aren’t any kids out there to back me up? Whatever.
*I did not eat said Twizzlers. But I was tempted.