Tag Archives: Entertainment

A Kardashian Katastrophe

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11

So…did you hear??  Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries!  Ok, I know this is old news by now, but still, it’s worth discussing.

I used to watch “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” when it first began. If you haven’t seen it, don’t.  Once you start, it’s hard to turn back.  Even though you know it’s harmful to your mental health, you’ll continue to watch.  It’ll suck you in.  After a while, you’ll start to think that Kardashian-like behavior is normal.   Oh, you say you need examples?  Here you go:

  • Speaking with a painfully obvious fake voice
  • Wearing unreal amounts of make-up
  • Talking about an event that happened in the past as if it’s currently happening

Even if you want to quit, it’ll be close to impossible because they are everywhere.  And they’re like roaches- there’s a million of them, they come out at night and I wouldn’t be surprised if they carry disease.

Anyway, I say all this so that you’ll understand why I’m familiar with their show.  Even though I pretty much can’t stand them, I’ve watched my fair share of episodes. 

Once they started getting engaged, I couldn’t take it anymore.  I refused to watch anything related to Kim’s or Khloe’s weddings.  I knew it would be the epitome of annoying girly stuff.

After Kim got engaged, I found out the basics of her relationship:

  • She and Kris got engaged after knowing each other for almost no time at all.
  • Kris was quite a bit younger than her.
  • Kris was a professional athlete.  Of course.
  • Kris had the same name as Kim’s mom, Kris.  How convenient.  And how convenient that his name started with a “K.”  She probably picked him out of the “Professional Athlete” phonebook based on the compatibility of his name with the Kardashian Empire’s naming convention.

Even though I went out of my way to avoid hearing/watching/reading about Kim’s whole shebang, I was still exposed to it.  I had to listen to this garbage for months.  I was successful in my efforts to not watch the FOUR HOUR long wedding special, but somehow I still knew that Kim and Kris didn’t have any chemistry, talked to each other with a complete lack of respect and that Kim’s sisters yelled at him frequently.  The one thread of hope I held onto was the fact that we would all have at least a few years of peace and quiet once the wedding was over.

Wrong.  A mere 72 days after the wedding, the “marriage” was over.  I feel uncomfortable even calling it a marriage.  They didn’t even try.  Most 8th graders have relationships that last longer than that (I didn’t).  And even if they did have “irreconcilable differences,” could they not have just faked it for a little while longer?  I mean, people invested a lot of time in this ridiculous circus.  The least they could do is act like it was time well-spent. 

The rumor is that it was all a sham for publicity.  I can definitely see that being the case.  If that is true, I wish they would’ve thought of our feelings before pulling a stunt like that.

I can’t imagine what could have possibly happened to make them call it quits so soon.  Perhaps one of the following:

  • Kris found a loop-hole in the pre-nup. and decided it was time to cash out
  • There wasn’t room for Kris on the Kardashians’ 17th reality show
  • Producers feared Kris and Kim would take the attention away from their efforts to exploit the two youngest Kardashian sisters (they’ve already started doing this)
  • Kris realized how annoying Kim and her family are

As usual, I’ve done my best to see the silver lining in all of this.  There are a number of lessons we can learn from this tragedy:

  • Celebrities probably shouldn’t get married.
  • If you’d like to have a big party, but can’t justify the cost, call it a wedding.
  • Sometimes people will surprise you (i.e., Khloe’s marriage lasting longer than Kim’s).
  • The more you spend on your wedding, the less likely your marriage is to succeed (I’ve always believed this- no, this isn’t based on any kind of statistic, just observation) .
  • Always keep a divorce attorney on retainer.
  • Kardashians are like dogs that do tricks over and over…if you reward them by watching their four-hour long wedding specials, they’re just gonna keep getting married.

The Birth of a Blog

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18

Oh, hello there. My name is Carly. This is my very first blog.

I have to be honest with you from the start. I know almost nothing about blogging. I don’t even follow any blogs (not yet, anyway). You’re probably asking yourself “Why would Carly suddenly join the blogosphere out of nowhere?? This is madness!” That’s an excellent question. I’ll tell you why. I’ve decided I need a creative outlet for all of the ridiculous thoughts that go through my head. I’m often observing the world around me and, as a result, I’m constantly thinking and analyzing and wondering about so many things at once. I also enjoy writing and being creative, but I don’t get the opportunity very often. But most importantly, I fear that my poor family and friends may take their own lives if they are forced to listen to my babbling much longer. I tried keeping a diary, but that made me feel like a 13 year-old girl, especially with all the butterflies and hearts I kept drawing in the margins. I’m probably breaking a major blogging rule by not having a main focus, but alas, that doesn’t matter because I’m not blogging to make money. This blog is for entertainment purposes only (mostly for myself). I’ll be providing my thoughts on a wide range of topics, as well as giving updates on the happenings in my life. I’m still learning the basics of setting up my site, so bare with me :)

I’ve set up a few ground rules for myself, as follows: no discussion of politics, religion or accounting (for both your sake and mine). It’s also important for the reader to know that I have no shame whatsoever. I’m more than willing to admit when I do or say something stupid for the sake of others’ entertainment. I’m also being silly or sarcastic 99% of the time, so please don’t take anything I say too seriously (i.e., please don’t report my friends or family to a suicide hotline based on the comment in the first paragraph above; they will not be amused).

Here’s a brief autobiography, in case you’re a scary stranger needing a back-story:

  • I’m a 26 year-old female
  • I’m an accountant (let’s all collectively sigh)
  • I’m single (let’s all collectively sigh, again)
  • I was born in Alaska and live in Texas
  • I recently bought a house and have a great roommate (who was also born in AK and lives in TX- coincidence, you ask?? Nope.)
  • I desperately want a dog

Among many other things, I enjoy:

  • TV and movies
  • Giving unsolicited advice
  • Hot chocolate
  • Trying to learn about sports (really, I’m trying, although I don’t know if I really enjoy this)
  • All things medical
  • My alone time
  • Board games, especially Monopoly
  • Curly noodles
  • My Snuggie
  • Parentheses, bullet points and measuring unmeasurable things with percentages

Let me expand a bit on this last point. Although I generally judge those who use grammar incorrectly, I admit there are a few topics that never sunk (sank?) in during English class, and the proper use of parentheses is one of those. I apologize (not really). Also, the use of bullet points reduces the amount of required reading, which is invaluable. Regarding the percentages, it’s easier to explain 75% of my thoughts with math of some sort.

I would also like to point out that, contrary to what several items on the list above may suggest (combination of TV and movies, my alone time, my Snuggie), I am not a cat lady. I don’t have cats and I appreciate cleanliness.

So, grab a seat, your Snuggie and your favorite warm beverage (I suggest Land O’ Lakes mint hot chocolate- I buy in bulk). Or, if you’re a guy, grab a cold drink and get as far away from the Snuggie as possible. We have a lot to talk about.